what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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