alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My vagina is very pro this idea
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
