dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When are your genitals available?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
