He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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