drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
