she looked like the before picture.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
