Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
