you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
