I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dicks are not precious.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
