oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
