I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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