whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
