you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
