This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
