Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
