I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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