So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
