Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
