just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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