Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
