The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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