you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
