I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
