I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
