I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
