Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
