I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
