Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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