Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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