That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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