I look better un-naked...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
