We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
