OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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