Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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