i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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