so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
