Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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