he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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