I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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