ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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