I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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