i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
