I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
