some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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