Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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