We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
