There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
