Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
