I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
