I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
