If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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